About me

Hey, I'm Tris.

I'm an inner hero unleasher, word wrangler, tree hugger and betta fish butler. And, as of May 2019 I'm a one-breasted wonder, in the style of the Goddess Artemis.

I had a left side mastectomy after developing breast cancer and immediately started applying my own fierce brand of radical self love to the situation. Although I plan to get a prosthetic in case I want to wear it sometimes, my true aim is to be comfortable in my body exactly as it is, and love it exactly as it is. When I told my husband, he responded "so basically one tit, don't give a shit?"

And this blog was born.


Me the day after the operation, kicking things off with this pic, which I shared on Facebook, because I wanted to start as I mean to go on - shamelessly. #nomakeup, #actuallywearingpyjamas

Big Ass Disclaimer

I can only share how I feel and what works / doesn't work for me. However you feel and how ever you need to cope, go with it. 

I'm here to share, not to argue, debate, or get into online wankery. So, as younger and trendier people than me say, don't @ me.



Popular posts from this blog

I wish someone had said this to me before my mastectomy

I heard a LOT of things before my mastectomy.  Most of them were variations on "however you feel after it is totally valid." Which is a great message. I'm not knocking it for a moment. Of course I read a LOT about prosthetics. Silicon vs beany vs about sixteen other types, and which bras to buy to prevent the situation of one's breast going airborne and slinging itself across aisle five in the supermarket. I heard a lot of "it'll take a while to get used to", too. And I read several stories of people finding their first view of the scar deeply traumatic, or suffering with PTSD as a result of the operation.  Again, not criticizing any of those reactions. There is no right / wrong here, and it's not a contest. We all cope with things in our own way according to our feelings and unique challenges. But no one told me there was another option As helpful as it was to hear that it might take a while, that I might have mixed feelings, that seein
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You don’t know till you know

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I was dreading it. And I do mean dreading it. Every time I thought about it my heart started jumpity jumping and my stomach clenched into a ball of tight, terrified noodles. But I knew I couldn’t put it off. What was it, you may well ask, this nemesis that had me quaking? My first post surgery shower. Now don’t get me wrong, gentle reader. I did not smell like a skunk made out of old vegetable peelings (a genuine concern!!) Water, soap, flannels and the sink are a thing. But nothing beats a real shower and I wanted one.  But the internet had told me stories about how terrible my first post surgery shower would be. Thus, every time I thought about it, I started doing this: I had no idea what to expect. Terrible how, exactly? Should I expect a pain worse than the cruciatus curse? Would my scar fly open? Would it look like the shower from Psycho? Of course none of that was likely. But you never know. In the end, it was a big scary build up to not much (
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Happy First Asymmetric Week!

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Today is a week from my mastectomy, and boy howdy have I learned a lot, about the op, and other things. Here are my faves! It’s nowhere near as bad as I feared! In my head I was worried I’d be flat on my back for days, unable to function. But by the third day I was able to go for a short walk, and do most things, just very carefully. Phantom sensations are a real thing!! I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve told Storm “the nipple that isn’t there hurts!!” I’m stronger than I thought. When it was 2AM on surgery day and a district nurse had to come out because some sutures were loose, I was a wreck. I thought we’d have to go back to the hospital and as we don’t have a car, get a taxi home. But with encouragement from Storm, who used to be a nurse, I ascertained that there was no active bleeding and it was ok to get some sleep and rest from the op first before making decisions. This was also a great lesson in listening to what I need and doing that. People care A LOT. I
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